


We don’t have to do it if you are not ready

by BlueFlashbang



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Based on a Tumblr Post, Contribution, F/F, Flashbacks, Gem Fusion, Hurt/Comfort, Lapis Lazuli Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Moving On, Oneshot, Original Character? - Freeform, Past Jasper/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe) - Freeform, day three, lapidot anniversary week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 03:49:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10982736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueFlashbang/pseuds/BlueFlashbang
Summary: After realizing Steven got abducted by Homeworld gems, Lapis and Peridot learn how to fuse into a new gem in order to save him. But they need to take some time into getting used to their new form, ultimately leading to some consequences in the end.





	We don’t have to do it if you are not ready

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea of naming the fusion 'Larimar' based on a post by jenhedgehog in tumblr.  
> This is my first contribution to lapidot anniversary week and I've spent a lot of days and nights trying to put this all together easily. I did not know or intend on how angsty/dark this fic would be, but I probably rushed it a bit because I was in a hurry. But I'll obviously polish it once in a while. I hope you enjoy.

It was nightfall, but a rather dark and roseate nightfall all over Beach City and the countryside this time around. The two blue and green gems had their usual day-to-day to basis in the barn with Camp Pining Hearts and random farm activities, And in the end they were in their farm waiting for more stars to wish upon. Despite the scenery being sort of cloudy and making it hard to search for stars now, the ambiance was still adequate, and Lapis and Pumpkin were settled while gazing aloft. Meanwhile, Peridot had her thoughts wandered and paced around shakenly with her paint can stilts that Steven gave her months ago. 

“You don’t have to keep wearing those paint cans on your feet all day.” Lapis says.

“I just want to. They make me feel taller.” Peridot answers while still marching. If one were to ask how long she had her stilts on; 3 days. 

She was discerning something vital to her from the looks of it. But it was obvious for the blue gem to know what it was. “You’re not pretending to be a fusion again are you?”

Peridot falters to answer Lapis back, but she halts and finally goes to rest beside her.  
“I can’t help it Lapis.” she says facilely. “Steven and the others once told me about their backstories when they first fused a while back. And I’ve analyzed certain depictions of their connection that made them fused in the first place throughout the week.” 

The short gem starts counting them down with her fingers. “There’s Garnet being true love, Steven and Connie’s fusion being a first relationship, Pearl and Amethyst’s with connection, Pearl and Garnet’s for betrayal…” she pauses for split second. “…and then there’s us.” 

Lapis glances at her keenly. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean…when WE fuse, eventually.” She runs her hand through her triangle mane and faces down. “It’s because I knew, well I thought, that we’d be somewhat destined to fuse one day, and I kept overthinking what our connection would represent once we fuse.” Lapis covertly wanted to chuckle. But she felt like she had one reason not to. 

“But then you told me your story with Jasper…” Peridot’s tone sinks to guiltiness. “And I did not want to bring it up because I was sure that it would…”

“…remind me of her?” she completes her sentence. 

Peridot bites her lip. “Yes…” 

“Oh.” 

Any reminisce of Jasper and Malachite was something Lapis and Peridot definitely hated and tried avoiding. The memories of being changed up underwater and struggling to be kept whole had irrefutably brought a lot of bad thoughts to the blue gem. And both amending and moving on from the instances was a painful stretch back in the barn.  
Peridot on the other hand couldn’t handle seeing Lapis anguished and lamenting from her memoirs of being a forced fusion, unable to cheer her up once their tear drops poured down. But that was all a LONG time ago, not since Lapis’ very last encounter with her. And there was nothing in their home that could prompt it again.

The conversation stops clumsily and pure silence was next perceived. Lapis and Peridot unwantedly frowned from their talk, trying to gaze back upwards at the obscure grimy sky and watched the dusk clouds invade the whole firmament. None of them knew how to continue their little discussion or start a new one at this point. So there’d better be something bright in the sky soon.  
“I hope I didn’t say too much…” Peridot over contemplates.  
“I hope Peridot and I don’t overthink this.” Lapis also contemplates. 

Out of nowhere, something dim flashes into the sky and stuns the two gems and Pumpkin. And whatever it was, it seemed somehow discrete to Peridot.  
“Well, that did not look normal…” she says inquired. “What the heck was that?” 

The blue gem gapes afar to where the entity propelled. “It looked like it came from Beach City.” She says. “You think maybe Steven and the gems had something to do with it?”

“Hmm, Definitely. Maybe we should visit.” Peridot answers. “Also, I’m pretty sure that looked like a gem ship taking off, and I could’ve sworn our last guest stole our last ship…”. Lapis nods. 

They hoisted up from the tractor, and Lapis quickly triggers her water wings and lets Peridot and Pumpkin ascent her back. They were ready for a brief departure, and then they took off to Beach City. 

They stopped by the temple before long and saw what they did not expect see. The Crystal Gems and Connie were in the living room, drenched and inactive with uneasy expressions, as well as hefty tear drops running down their faces. They were asked why they showed up (in the most opportune time, too), hence they answered back by asking what had befallen in town currently, moreover asking where was Steven’s presence. 

It took a while for any of them to answer as they gawked at one another perturbed. But then Pearl decided to break the abysmal news to them. “How do I put it this way…” her fingers intersected and hesitated to retort. “You see…There were gems from Homeworld that came for a task. And Steven just gave himself up to the Diamonds….Just to save us.” 

Lapis and Peridot were in vast disbelief. “HOMEWORLD GEMS??” they both loudly questioned. 

All of them faintly nod. “It’s kind of hard to believe, but yeah. And they were the worst ones we’ve seen…” Connie says.

Steven was the two gems’ closest friend they ever had. There was no way an instant so unforeseen could happen just like that. “W-why could have we been there in time to help him?” Lapis asks just as anxious.  
“What did they look like this time?” Peridot also asks.

Garnet suddenly halts them. “That’s enough…” she says strict but easy. “We don’t have time for questions. All we need to know is that those gems were sent by the Diamonds, and Steven is in grave trouble.” She takes her visors off hastily. “And we need to rescue him fast.”

“Um, how the heck are we going to save him WHEN HE’S IN SPACE?!” Amethyst angrily comments. 

The only way the Crystal Gems would able to go to space by the help of the Ruby ship and Lion. But those options would be useless at this point, and the chances of coming up with a plan to go to Homeworld was 1 over a hundred…Unless they have acquired the chance out of a miracle.

“…Wait, I have an idea.” Lapis calls everyone’s attention. “I could just fly to Homeworld and rescue him myself. I’ve done that before anyway.” At first that sounded pretty clever. But Garnet arbitrates with the idea. 

“No.” she simply says. “Flying to Homeworld on your own is too dangerous and will take too long to succeed. You are going to need someone to come with you if you are going to do a task like that.”

And swiftly, Peridot raises her hand. “What if I did?” she asks. “If Lapis can’t fly there single-handedly, then I should be the one to join her.” 

Garnet took some time to think. It was true that the two gems would be a great duo for a task like this when it came to emotional and mental worth. But that wasn’t plentiful. They needed to be resilient enough to quickly fly across space. “Hmm. I have a better idea.” Garnet says and puts her visors back on. 

She paces to Lapis and Peridot. “You two must ‘fuse’” she declares.

Immediately, the two gems were dumbfounded and stridently probed the notion of them actually fusing. “Fusion is the only way you two could get to Homeworld sooner and safer.” Garnet informs. “And besides, I think it’s about time anyway…” She was indeed precise. 

Peridot gapes at Lapis who had her expression looking apprehensive. “Lapis, what do you think?” she asks fretful. “We don’t have to do it if you are not ready to fuse again….”

“No, it’s okay.” Lapis replies assured. “If that’s the only way we’re going to save Steven, then I’m doing it.”

It was settled then. Garnet undertook to keep an eye on them and make sure their fusion dance was successful. She ambled with Pumpkin, Lapis and Peridot out of the temple and in to the shore to commence trying their own fusion dance on the sand, where the ambiance was restful and the room was wide. The blue and green gems we’re a little tense, but also resolute to make this work. 

Garnet addressed them on how their fusion dance would be able to work. It would pretty simple for them since their bond was already so close, and while they dance, they have to be completely I sync. The two gems nodded. Their proximity was remote so they could spiral up to each other and meet, then colliding with each other by any way they choose to. And hopefully pretty soon, they become their fusion! 

Their gems lustrously glowed into blue and green. Almost immediately, their arms and feet were waving and swinging, classily but shoddy, and impending closer with their distinct ballets. Their dances were chastely mediocre, and seemingly they were rushing it. But the dance will still work somehow. As they twirled and skulked tryingly and on average, they bump in to each other unexpectedly, and Lapis catches Peridot before she falls out of her balance. 

Both of them locked their gaze at each other by a mishap. Their pupils amplified, feeling a sizable spur on their mind and core. This is how the fusion dance shall conclude. Lapis gently conveys Peridot closer to her face, both of them were glossily blushing as they emanated closer. Their eyes close lightly, until in the end, the two gems caressed each other softly. 

Literally in a flash, the physical form of the two gems faded into light after the kiss. Pumpkin began barking loud and inquisitive. Garnet on the other hand had her arms folded and watched the whole thing, patient as she witnessed them glowing and shifting into a newer grander gem. The illumination abruptly breaks, and the outcome was an entirely new gem.

Garnet grins while looking high up at the firsthand fusion. “How does it feel?” she asks her. 

“Um…I...don’t know.” A soft, high pitch and fissured voice was heard. Or in other words, Lapis and Peridot’s voice mashed together.  
The fusion of Lapis and Peridot was hugely tall and innate with 4 arms just like Opal, also wearing visors similar to Sugilite’s. 4 eyes were beneath her visors with the colors of her pupils being ocean blue and electric green. And her outfit was factually a mishmash of the two gems’ clothes; Peridot’s tights and socks and Lapis’ skirt, only with a few color blends and alterations. Lastly, her hair was still formed like a triangle only laxer and cottony, and dyed yellow but bluer. 

“Wait, Lapis where are you?” the fusion panics a little coming from Peridot. “I-I don’t think I–––“

“Calm down…” Garnet tranquilly says. “Take a look at yourself for one moment.”

The cyan colored fusion glances down and guises at her four arms. “Oh, whoa..” She utters. She turns and kneels to the sinuous water behind her and stares at the reflection, the image of a new gem that looked too much like Lapis and Peridot merged together.

“Did it actually work?” she asks feeling her face. “This is…weird but also...good?” There was a combined feeling of confusion and excitement escalating, but it was definitely a time she wanted to exult and jump out of ecstasy. 

“All you need now is a name.” Garnet suggests. 

She still stared at her reflection. “Hmm…La…Larimar.” She advocates. A gem shaded in light blue just like her. “That should work.” 

After taking time to gawp at her replication, she rises up and takes a deep breath, then brusquely bringing out her enormous water wings. “Okay, I have time to have fun later. Now I have to rescue Steven.”

“Wait a second, Larimar.” Garnet stops them before taking off. “I know I said we had to be quick, but perhaps you need to take some time to go around with this new form. For all we know, you could lose focus and unfuse in the middle of flying.” Larimar looks below at Garnet and tries to inquire about the rescue mission. 

“It doesn’t have to be long.” She says. “One day is all you need to get used to your new form, and then you could rescue Steven.” 

“…Okay then.” She settles. “Are you sure we––I need this?”

Garnet holds her visors off a little and reveals her third eye. “Trust me.” She winks at her. The red-purple gem then leaves the prospect and heads back to the temple. What she plans on saying to the Crystal gems about Larimar is yet to happen. 

It was completely dusk but still pretty early. The new fusion was just about on her own and wondering what she must do first as an entirely new and taller gem. Pumpkin stubs his paws on her foot trying to call her attention. She stoops down and chuckles tenderly, petting the vegetable pet very softly with her finger. “You know it’s still us, don’t you.” She utters. 

Larimar wanders out of the temple precinct and commenced having a conversation with herself.  
“I’ve never felt so tall before.” She expresses. “But yet I feel so normal about it. Does it always feel so lightheaded the first time fusing?”  
“I guess from my experience, it sorta does.” The tone of her voice variates depending on which one of them were trying to speak. 

They stop and see the Boardwalk just a few inches away. The whole town was also pretty pleasant in a fresh evening perspective. Suddenly, depraved chuckling and shrieking was perceived out of nowhere. It didn’t seem to coming from the area. More like it was scruffily in her head, and it was so familiar in a bad way. 

“No, stop.” Larimar whispers, shutting her eyes and 2 of her fists clinching, possibly coming from Lapis.  
“What was that?”  
“It-it was nothing, I hope. Let’s just try to find something to do tonight.”

They walk all the way to Funland that was surprisingly still open due to overtime. “I’ve never tried rollercoasters before.” She says. “But since we’re now tall, I guess that should be the first thing we do.” Regardless of them being a little gigantic and some passersby dazed at a giant woman in boardwalk, they’d try it anyway. 

But something halts them before they could enter. The ocean was in high tides, and the sound of crashing water was amplifying all of a sudden. Larimar gasps heavily. And instead of hearing crying again, she began seeing visions…

The Boardwalk was gone in a blink of an eye. Peridot and Lapis were teleported in a dark and wet place, separately familiar and unfamiliar. Lapis’s eyes enlarged and gaped around the entire fracturing place.

“Oh no, this isn’t right…” she utters. “What am I doing here?! This is different now!”  
She looks down and grasps something she didn’t notice. Her arms were bound with chains made of water, and they were pulling down hard and forcefully. She struggles to pull herself up and release her limbs of the cuffs. But the wrench was too vigorous to handle, thus she was pulled down underwater and shrieks in fear. 

Peridot perceived her getting hauled in her own different viewpoint. “LAPIS!” she exclaims startled. This was very odd, and by all means unsettling. The scene shifts to merely pitch black. The green gem could see Lapis just inches away and so she approaches (or hovers) to her. 

“Lapis, are you okay?! What just happened?!” she tries to get her attention. The blue gem never turns or responds to her. Apparently she didn’t know that her partner was with her at all. 

Bruises and marks were beheld all over Lapis’ body. She was gawping around very keenly and frail, as if something was coming after her. Unexpectedly, she turns back, and Jasper rushes up to her and grabs her by the neck firmly. Her presence startles the two gems and damages them.

The scene changes yet again to the light blue water. “JUST GIVE UP ALREADY!” Jasper exclaims to Lapis. She too was in pain, exhaustion, and covered in bruises. “Stop trying to hold us back! I’m in control now!” 

Lapis groans chokingly as she forces Jaspers grip off of her. Her water wings were brought out instantly and kick the strong orange gem by the chest. “NO!” she yells and scuffles to glide away. 

Meanwhile back in reality, Larimar was repeating the disputes shouted by Peridot and Lapis, especially the actions they were undertaking. Thus, Larimar’s water wings surge and fly kicks the ferries wheel, causing it to reel off and rampage. The cyan fusion proceeded to recklessly abolish everything in the boardwalk out of anger, also terrifying residences in confusion and fright. 

More alarming visions of Lapis being tormented were changing every second. There were more chains fastening onto Lapis and making her fall, more water suffocating her incongruously as she continued, and more hits being inflicted by Jasper as she tried to take control of the ‘fusion’. Lapis was lying down beat on the ocean-like floor and incapable of getting up, only to be picked up gradually again by another worn out gem. 

“So…” Jasper’s looming stare still intimidates. “…are you just gonna keep getting dragged around until we one of us gives up?!”

“If I have to…” Lapis says with a teardrop running down the side of her eye.

This was all very puzzling. Why was Jasper there? Why is everything fluctuating like a slide show? And why is Peridot only able to watch her partner suffer instead of helping her? 

“I guess you really are pathetic…” Jasper chuckles and drops her tersely. Peridot runs to her one more time and bends down at the trampled blue gem. 

“Lapis, come on, get up!” Peridot says anxiously. “You’re hurt badly. I…I could have helped with whatever is going on right now.” She then wholly kneels down and cries over the blue gem. “This is all wrong. We’re fused together right now. Why is this happening??” 

That’s when it struck her. It was being ‘fused’ that was causing all of this. Lapis completely passes out soon, and Larimar unfuses shortly. The two gems fall to the ground feeling faint and a little tired. They were back to being separate gems, but they came back with a distressing result. 

They saw half of Funland and the boardwalk demolished and isolated. It was obvious that it had something to do with their fusion even if they had no memory of doing so. But they did recall something else that they both wish never occurred. Peridot glances at Lapis who gazed at the scene guilty and regretful from the look of her face. She walks up to her again, this time she was finally noticed. 

“Laz.” She tugs her arm and looks back at her. “That wasn’t Malachite, was it?”

Lapis sighs severely and avoids answering her. “I’m sorry…” She shuns and hastily flies back to the barn. Peridot definitely knew what she saw. And she needed to amend what hurt her and her partner at once. 

A few long minutes passed, and Peridot along with Pumpkin rushed to the barn to find Lapis gloomily coiled in the dark and sobbing inaudibly. Her presence was immediately predicted, and she strides gently towards the anguished gem and sits beside her. “That didn’t go well as we thought it would, huh.” She utters. “

“I wish you hadn’t seen any of that…” Lapis says. “…That was what I had to go through as a fusion, well at least half of what I went through anyway.” She wipes the last tear drops off her face. “It was stupid of me to think that I was ready to fuse again. But I didn’t think I was going to have to relive my suffering again once I did.”

Peridot’s core ached just as much as Lapis trying to explain everything. All this time, she knew her history with Malachite was an eternal and throbbing trap, but when she got to see how painful I actually was, she realized how strong it was just to pop out in THEIR fusion.

“Now you’ve seen what Malachite was inside…torture…and you probably don’t want us fusing ever again…”

She was wrong. Peridot still wanted to fuse. The green gem scuttles in front of Lapis and embraces her warmly, hopefully comforting her and slowly taking the pain away. “I know what I witnessed was dreadful, but that doesn’t mean it will happen again.” She says shakily. 

“How do you know what…?” Lapis counters.

“It’s just like what Garnet said; we need time to get around with our new form. I can help you take the memories away for good once we’re done.” 

Lapis holds back another tear drop. “You promise?”

“I promise.” 

Lapis rises slightly and hugs back Peridot tighter and heartfelt. The two gems had their eyes close one more time, feeling their tender and deep embrace and syncing their emotions of affection and distress. They both uttered “I love you” before suddenly glowing into bright light and merging themselves into one again. 

Larimar was fused the second time inside the barn and crawled out. The moon was up, and there were a lot of stars to go stargazing tonight. She sat down next to Pumpkin and looked high up at Homeworld’s galaxy.

“I have one day to get the hang of this, and then save Steven.” She says. It turns out their connection might have represented something after all once they fused; moving on.

**Author's Note:**

> I have to once again thank my best friend for helping come up with a lot of the stuff in this fic.


End file.
